According to Wikipedia (and let’s be honest with ourselves, this is where 90 percent of the world’s knowledge is housed) the phrase “moral obligation” is applied to an act that is perceived as part of a person’s belief system... and that’s about it. Seriously, this is the website that brings us hard-hitting articles about impact wrenches, wenches as they apply to British sitcoms, and “Ridin’ Wild” the 1922 western film directed by Nat Ross and starring Hoot Gibson (aside, I am the only person to “like” this on Facebook. Go ahead, check, I’m no liar.) And yet Wikipedia can’t give me three lousy sentences on a simple turn-of-phrase.
All whining aside, I was looking for information on the subject because it’s a weird combination of words. And I thought of it when searching for a way to describe my recent dabbling in the world of all-you-can-eat sushi. I think the theory probably applies to all forms of AYCE (BBQ, pizza, chinese, waffles, et al), which might be one of my favorite and least favorite concepts in the world. All-you-can-eat is a man’s game. It’s a battle of wits, for the princess, to the death...
I accept. As did my father, my brother, and our friend Brian. We did it without hesitation, or any thought to the prudence of the matter. Boise being so close to the ocean, and thus famous the world over for its sushi skills, how could we go wrong? Thus, we drop 25 dollars per for the opportunity to cram our mouths with as much Royal California, unagi, and yellowtail nigiri as we can possibly stomach. In my younger days, it was a small amount for me; I simply didn’t like to eat raw what-nots, irregardless of the freshness or large amounts of soy and wasabi. Also, I feel as if we’re sort of thumbing our noses at the guys who discovered fire.
And this is were “moral obligation” comes in. Because that is how Grant and Brian treated that meal. They knew that dad and I were weak, and would only eat slightly more than necessary to fill our tummies. For them, it was then gut-check time (blam, double entendre). It was their moral obligation to ensure that Yoi Tomo lost money, and the only way to offset the rest of us and the prohibitive cost of the hot tea (no bueno, by the way) was to eat their weight in raw foodstuffs. Which is tough, because rice expands as we all know.
It was an epic performance. Even the server started to get a little bit rattled. I don’t think she was used to such dedication to overindulgence. But as I’ve said, it was their moral obligation to get dad’s money’s worth; Jesus wanted it that way. I lost track of how many rolls we went through, but Grant and Brian must have taken down 15 to 20. It was dining as moral obligation; far beyond working to eat, it was eating as work, and a sight to behold. It was this type of dedication that sculpted the great pyramids, built the Oregon Trail, and took us to the moon. So I’m excited to see what Brian and Grant are able to do when they apply their energy something more constructive than putting a sushi joint out of business. Or maybe that in itself is a worthy goal: after all, if you open an AYCE restaurant, you’re just asking to be eaten out of house and home. And I know just the men for the job.
rossnation... out.
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