So Much to Say

We'll start this off slow with an update on the Great Shower Curtain Liner Saga of 2010: anticlimax, because it appears to have been resolved. The new $10 liner seems to be everything it was marketed as; a heavy piece of plastic (and supposedly mildew resistant). My shower today was free of the annoying flutter of the old, inferior liner flapping up against my leg. Now I don't have to aim the showerhead at the curtain to keep it at bay. Sweet, sweet relief.

On to heavier issues. Jake the Snake Alger has posed a query with potential for all kinds of fantastic (read, mediocre) comedy. The question is what TV shows and movies qualify for us personally as comfort watching; something that you can put on in the background and just let it be noise. Being the thinker that I am, however, I also must define the other types of film and TV. There's the kind that if I'm watching, I get sucked in automatically, and any chance at completing other tasks is a retarded folly. Case in point, Arrested Development. As soon as I here Gob say something stupid, I'll watch a whole season before I realize my pie is burning in the oven. (Yes, I bake pies.)

Then there's the movie or show that I have to watch all the way through because if I don't, I have no idea what's going on. The Index Case for this type is my new addiction, Lost. I haven't done anything productive in over a week now, and it's getting to be an issue. I have to force myself to stop the netflix and wash my sheets (today) or change the shower curtain (today) or clean the kitchen (well, later.)

But the perfect comfort media for me is a special breed, like a bassett hound or Phil Roland. When I've got things to do, like cleaning the apartment, folding laundry, making my bed, baking a pie, pilates, etc., my background picture and sound looks something like this:

1) Sadly, National Treasure. I've seen this abomination so many times that I no longer even care if the good guys win. Perfect for going to sleep.

2) The Hunt for Red October. Every line by rote, if you like (although most people don't like.) Only pause necessary is for the obligatory aping of Alec Baldwin as he says in a Sean Connery voice, "Ryan, some things in here don't react well to bullets. Yeah, like me. I don't react well to bullets." Freekin' brilliant.

3) Any Law and Order. They all end the same, but I love them anyway.

4) Sportscenter is a special category, because I have to watch the first run of the day, but after they've shown the same show six times, you're a world-beater with this white noise in the background.

5) If you've got no money, Home Shopping Network is perfect because you can't actually stop what you're doing to buy something.

6) The West Wing: What can I say, I've got a man crush on Rob Lowe, you wanna fight about it?

Movies and shows that are definitely not an option: The Shawshank Redemption, Marley & Me, Mad Men. These suck me right in and I'm useless until it's over. I'm useless other times too, though.

By the way, I'm having this problem right now. This is fifteen minutes worth writing that has taken forty five because I'm watching Lost, when I should have know better and put on Sportscenter. So what have we learned today? That Jake Alger shall now be call Socrates Johnson.

CALLBACK! Send it.

Ross Nation out.