Crazy Sweet Sauce

The future is now! It's not exactly The Jetson's; we're not talking about flying cars and tricorders and portable waffle irons, but it's still pretty flippin' sweet. Here's a non-comprehensive list of the things that I've done today on my phone. That's right, iPhone only.

1. Checked my Facebook. Remember when you needed a computer to do that? It was like three weeks ago.

2. Listened to the Foo Fighters. This used to require a Walkman. Those were awesome. Hard to believe that we had to flip tapes over. B-sides are just a figure of speech now.

3. Scheduled a hair cut. Could've done it over video chat, but I think that would have been more difficult.

4. Took a picture, and edited it without ever standing in line at a photohut. Although I worked at a photo store for 6 years, so this makes me a bit nostalgic for the days of film.

5. Searched for a dog. Found one that I love. He's in Seattle. Never made a phone call. Realized that I'm torturing myself because I'm not allowed to have a dog in my apartment. Put this off till later.

6. Transferred a movie trailer from my phone to my PC. The very idea that we can have a movie trailer on our phone is just stupid. Oh, and it's in Hi-Def.

7. Downloaded and started reading a book. No paper involved. This is not as awesome. I miss the smell of library books. The smell of old paper and the most boring job I ever had. (Boring story furnished upon request.)

8. Created a custom iPhone case. It's awesome, it has a picture of Clive Owen on it...

9. Transferred money from my checking account to savings. No bank teller required, and we all know that's good!

10. Played Monopoly against the computer, and played Scrabble against a friend. He lives in Nashville, and there's none of those ridiculous little tiles to lose or get stuck in your ear canal.

11. Added a movie to my Netflix queue. Again, the very idea that I can watch a movie without playing a movie is David Copperfield level magic.

12. Watched Family Guy clips. They're funny.

13. Listened to the Billboard Top 100 from 1997. I had forgotten about Savage Garden. Wish I could reforget. And it's 13 years, and I'm STILL Not a Playa.

14. Searched for an apartment in two different cities. And you can narrow it down only apartments that have AC, a pool, hardwood floors, vaulted ceilings, and park views. Not that anyone would want to live in such a place.

15. Listened to the police scanner. Not a ton going on in Moscow on Saturday of a three day weekend at 2 in the afternoon in the middle of the summer. (A lot going on in that sentence, however.)

16. Typed out this entire column. And by column, I mean glorified list. But seriously, did the whole thing on my iPhone. I'm a big kid now.

So is this the brave new world? I'm not really sure. There's a lot to be said for going to the humane society and actually playing with the dogs, or playing a board game on a board, or talking to a friend on the phone (or God forbid in person), or getting arrested. There's a simplicity and depth to all these things that just can't be topped.

On the other hand, look how shiny!!!!